Measurement Ideas Van Pelt

Measurement Ideas - Van Pelt

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TOPIC: Measurement Ideas - Van Pelt
http://groups.google.com/group/entstrees/browse_thread/thread/5e93e722c77e2742?hl=en
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== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 13 2008 6:31 pm
From: "Ed Frank"

ENTS,

We have had a number of posts providing new measurements from a number of sites. Then recently seeing the photo of Dr, Bob Van Pelt at the base of the largest Limber Pine, got me to thinking. We need to develop a more esoteric measurement protocol and standard so that "Our Results" will be as obscure and confusing as are found in some of the elite scientific journals.

The first unit I want to propose is a VPG. This would be the measured girth of a tree expressed in Van Pelt Girth Units, each of which would be equal to the girth around BVP's middle.

The second unit would be the VPH. The Van Pelt Height unit would be equal to Bob Van Pelt's height. This would be used to express the heights of a particular tree. We had a preview of sorts of this unit a couple years ago at the Forest Summit, when I used BVP as a scale to demonstrate the height of the newly discovered world's Tallest tree - a Redwood in California, which at the time was tentatively listed as 378.1 ft+ in height.

Next we would have Bob stand with his arms outstretched. The distance from finger tip to finger tip would be the new VPS or Van Pelt Spread unit.

The final measurement (at this point) would be the VPV, or Van Pelt Volume unit. Each unit would be equal in volume to that of BVP. Of course to do this correctly we need to completely submerge him in a cylinder of water to accurately measure his volume.

What does everyone think? [I also am considering Leverett Units, ad Blozan Units as alternatives.]

Ed Frank

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Thurs, Feb 14 2008 1:10 am
From: Beth Koebel

Ed,

I'll start using VPG, VPH, and VPS as of today! I'm
still not sure I'm willing to tackle the volume
measurements so I may not use VPV.

Beth

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former....Albert Einstein

== 2 of 10 ==
Date: Thurs, Feb 14 2008 5:13 am
From: dbhguru@comcast.net

Beth,

Whoa. Not so fast. We've first go to Washington and track down BVP, dart him, and take the measurements Ed has suggested. We can then make tape measures calibrated in units of BVP and ship them to Ents who want to experiment with the new unit. Actually selling the tape measures could net ENTS big bucks. But we first need a tracker. How about Larry Tucei Jr.? If Larry can negotiate the swamps, he might have the requisite tracking skills. We could use a pictures of giant red woods to bait Bob. Does anyone have a spare, portable bathtub we can use form the volume measurement and who will store the spillage?

Adopting a new unit of measure is serious stuff.

Bob

== 3 of 10 ==
Date: Thurs, Feb 14 2008 6:08 am
From: Beth Koebel

Bob,

Now Bob I would have thought you would know by now
that I always do things the hard way and back
asswards.

Beth

== 4 of 10 ==
Date: Thurs, Feb 14 2008 6:32 am
From: dbhguru@comcast.net

Beth,

The rest of us applaud your enthusiasm and are ourselves anxious to adopt and use the new set of measurement units. Recalibrating my lasers is going to be the most technical feat. I'll have to call LTI.
My cautions in the previous e-mail stem from the fact that I know BVP and can assure the tracker that he will be elusive. Plus it will be no easy feat for the tracker to have to carry that portable bathtub through all that rugged Washington terrain.
Now, one way we might snare Bob is to place signs around that say Will Blozan discovered a 200-foot tall tuliptree and give coordinates to where BVP can go to get the details. Bob wouldn't be able to resist since as of now I think he holds the record for having measured the tallest deciduous tree in the CONUS - a cottonwood, I think.
Or, we could just wait until the rendezvous in Black Mountain in April. Bob is planning to attend if his schedule works out. At the rendezvous, we could ply him with several gallons of high quality microbrew and when he was sufficiently sedated, cast a net over him and grab the measurements. I'm starting to run out of ideas. Any Ents out there got any other suggestions? Ed? After all, you got this thing started.

Bob

== 5 of 10 ==
Date: Thurs, Feb 14 2008 6:41 am
From: Beth Koebel

Bob,

The tracker would have hoist the portable bathtub into
the air via rope tied off to the trees with a funnel
made from plastic trash bags, later used to haul the
trash out with, hunging below the tub to catch the
water overflowing out of the tub, and running to a
hose that ends in five gallon tubs.

Beth

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former....Albert Einstein

== 6 of 10 ==
Date: Thurs, Feb 14 2008 7:55 am
From: Larry

Ed, Bob, Beth,

We also need the VPRC measurement(Van Pelt Ring Count), we could
very get accurate counts and finish Neils listing. Can't wait to meet
all you at the April gathering, your sense of humor is such a
necessity to our great Society. I'll try and track him, but sounds
like he's elusive. Maybe the bait thing is the way to go and we'll all
trap him!

Larry

== 7 of 10 ==
Date: Thurs, Feb 14 2008 8:14 am
From: "Edward Frank"

Larry, ENTS,

I know that they are able to do ring counts on major bones, like a femur, in
dinosaurs like a T-Rex, in order to determine the age of the creature upon
its death. I am not sure how to collect Van Pelt Ring Counts unless we cut
off hs leg and see if he has rings in his femur. But this needs to be done
after we get the Volume measurement so as not to affect our VPV's.

Ed

== 8 of 10 ==
Date: Thurs, Feb 14 2008 8:27 am
From: James Parton

Ed,

I might could help capture Will to get some Blozan units. One could
catch him by saying that a huge ( bigger than Usis ) hemlock had been
found in Cataloochee and give him the location on a map. Then have the
snare set on the approach route. One would have to take into account
though that Will seldomly uses trails!

James Parton.

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TOPIC: Beth's solution
http://groups.google.com/group/entstrees/browse_thread/thread/c8e3035b2ca640a6?hl=en
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== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Thurs, Feb 14 2008 5:40 pm
From: dbhguru@comcast.net

Beth,

I have studied your solution and marveled at its simplicity, ingenuity, and cost effectiveness. Your engineering skills are awesome to behold. I hereby nominate you for the exalted position of ENTS Engineer in charge of all construction around tree measuring. But what do we do when the tranquilizer wears off BVP and the woods shake with his old growth roar?

Bob

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Thurs, Feb 14 2008 9:08 pm
From: James Parton

~Laughing~ REAL hard!! :-)

JP

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Thurs, Feb 14 2008 10:44 pm
From: Beth Koebel

Bob,

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beth

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